July 10, 2024

5 types of marketing & comms professionals you never want to be

If you recognize yourself in this list, it's not too late.

There are good marketers, and there are great marketers.

And then there are marketers & comms pros whose arrival on your team you greet with a mixture of suspense and horror.

Don’t be one of these dreaded archetypes. (If you are, it's not too late—skip to the end for a way out...)

The I-Always-Trust-My-Gut Guy

Data? What data?

This marketing professional doesn’t need any fancy “evidence” of what will “work” in the future, and what has worked in the past. He trusts his instincts, which are infallible (and when they’re not, it’s definitely someone else’s fault).

Show him a tool like SmartAssets and he’ll scoff. Ask him to prove ROI and he’ll simply point to his own beautiful, enormous brain. 

Ms. “How Hard Can Graphic Design Really Be?”

This highly strung brand strategist is always thinking, which means she’s always changing her mind.

Campaigns that were set in stone weeks ago suddenly need to be upended hours before launch—and what’s the big deal?

She toils with broad concepts and, if dropped into Figma, would likely return months later, exhausted and starving. But that won’t stop her from micromanaging the Creative team and expecting them to “do their image magic” with zero advance notice.

The “Spray & Pray” Cowboy

Journalists are all the same to this big-ego PR hack—mere pawns in his game of five-dimensional chess.

There’s no need to treat writers like distinct humans, with their own specific interests and beats. Who has time for that? 

Instead, he spends his day copy-pasting the same pitch (preferably incorporating multiple fonts and font sizes), blasting it out to every contact he has. Once a year, he even forgets to BCC.

Don’t even think about converting this cowboy to an efficient tool like PRophet Earn. Why be mindful and diligent when you can throw the whole mess at the wall and see what sticks?

The TED Talker

They’ve been CMO for six months now, and will be for at least another five or six days.

Unfortunately, their team mainly sees them on YouTube, pontificating from Cannes or Aspen or somewhere equally glam. 

After all, the company basically runs itself—and their semi-viral talk (“#YOLO: Dynamic Energy and Energetic Dynamics in Contemporary Beer Advertising”) raised brand awareness in ways that are impossible to measure.

Chief “AI Is a Passing Fad” Officer

This isn’t her first rodeo, and she’s not distracted by bright shiny objects.

Marketing is meant to be a conservative industry, and technology is a mere distraction. After all, she tried to use the free version of ChatGPT to write an email once, and the results were the worst.

Sure, her reports are clamoring to be trained-up in the latest GenAI tools, but that’s probably because they’re lazy. Or they’re Zoomers who think technology is the solution to everything.

She’ll just keep doing what she’s been doing, and wait until the easily fooled masses realize that AI is as empty as Dogecoin. Right?

How Stagwell Marketing Cloud can help

No amount of software can fix a broken personality.

But if you're looking to elevate your marketing skills—and join the 21st century—Stagwell Marketing Cloud does offer a few solutions.

From the survey magic of QuestDIY to the predictive powers of SmartAssets and the pitching prowess of PRophet Earn, there's something for everyone (even the poor souls we've described above).

Intrigued? Here's 10 specific ways Stagwell Marketing Cloud can change the way you work

Scott Indrisek

Scott Indrisek is the Senior Editorial Lead at Stagwell Marketing Cloud

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